Did you know we lose half our friends every seven years?
And the most common reason we do isn’t that we’ve become fundamentally incompatible. It’s because we’re no longer in the same place at the same time. Many of our friendships are effectively “locationships.” We require something called “social embeddedness” (a similar context) for them to continue.
That’s why friendship rituals—like friendsgiving— are so important to our friendships. There’s a set time on the calendar where we’ll meet and rekindle the connection. With a ritual on the calendar, we’re also able to trust better that our friendship won’t end just because time together has lapsed. According to recommendations from a study on long-distance friendships, when we assume that a friendship is “flexible” and not “fragile,” it’s more sustainable. This means we should not assume that if we haven’t talked to a friend in a while, we’re no longer friends. Friendship rituals help us do that.
This is the power of friendsgiving. It affords us the security of knowing that our friendships will persist because we’ll see them at some point. Having this security can propel us to reach out throughout the entire year.
Here are some ideas for friendship rituals you can add to your life to make sure your friendships won’t be lost in the next seven years:
- A yearly friend vacation
- Holiday gift exchange
- Fantasy football league
- Celebrating your friendship-aversary
- Galentine’s/Palentine’s Day
- New Year’s Intention Setting
- A surprise ritual (one year you plan/another they plan)
- Choosing one book to read together every year
- Creating a friendship holiday card together
- Item swap (of things you’ve loved- clothes, books, IG reels, songs, etc)
- Plant exchange (you each share cuttings from your plants)
- Day of volunteering for a cause you both care about
- Skill swap: teach each other a new skill
- A wellness day
- Chores and errands day (doing chores and errands together- for the busy folks)
- Welcome to a day in my life: each person invites the other to participate in an interest they have – that their friend does not share. (Open mind required.)
- Craft Night
- Journaling Party
- Playlist Generation Night
